Let’s be real.
Most of the bad decisions in my life haven’t come from “big plans”.
They’ve come from one small moment.
A craving.
That itch at 6pm to open a drink.
That pull to stick a tenner in a machine.
That voice saying “go on, you deserve it” when I’m already tired and done.
For years I thought cravings meant something deep was wrong with me.
Like I was weak.
Or broken.
Or “wired different”.
Now I see it for what it is.
Craving is your brain doing exactly what it’s been trained to do.
And once you understand the science in simple terms, it gets a lot easier to beat.
What a craving actually is (in plain English)
Forget big words for a second.
A craving is just your brain shouting, “We know what fixes this feeling. Do the thing.”
There are four parts:
Cue.
Craving.
Response.
Reward.
Cue = something happens.
Time of day.
Place.
Feeling.
Smell.
Memory.
Craving = the urge.
The thought.
The picture in your mind of that first sip or that first bet.
Response = what you do.
Open the bottle.
Place the bet.
Scroll the app.
Reward = the hit.
That small rush.
That tiny bit of peace.
The feeling of “ahhh, better”.
Your brain doesn’t care if the reward is smart.
It just remembers that it worked for a moment.
So next time the cue shows up, the craving comes faster.
You don’t sit there thinking through all this.
It just fires.
That’s why you can be fine at 4pm and turn into a different person by 6pm in the kitchen.
Dopamine: the “pay attention” chemical
People talk about dopamine like it’s this evil thing.
It’s not.
It’s your brain’s “this matters” chemical.
When you drink or gamble or eat certain foods, your brain gets a dopamine hit.
Not just from the thing itself.
From the build-up.
Think about pouring a drink.
Bottle in your hand.
Glug into the glass.
Sound of the fizz.
First sip.
Your brain learns all of that.
Same with gambling.
Opening the app.
Scrolling the odds.
Seeing the lights and colours on a slot machine.
Dopamine fires most around the expectation of the reward.
That’s why sometimes the craving feels strongest before you even start.
The more times you repeat this, the tighter the link becomes.
Cue = dopamine.
Dopamine = “pay attention, we’re about to feel good”.
That’s the science bit in simple terms.
Your brain has learnt a shortcut.
Why cravings feel bigger when you’re tired, stressed or low
There’s another layer.
Cravings get louder when the rest of you is low.
If you’re:
- Tired
- Stressed
- Hungry
- Bored
- Anxious
…your brain is already looking for a way out.
Your stress system is up.
Your thinking part is down.
So when a craving shows up, it doesn’t meet a calm, rational brain.
It meets a brain that’s already shouting.
That’s why the same craving that feels like a 3/10 on a fresh Wednesday can feel like a 10/10 after a brutal day at work.
It’s not that the craving itself is different.
It’s that the state you’re in is different.
This is why “just use willpower” is rubbish advice.
If you’re drained, your willpower is already half gone.
You need more than “be strong”.
My cravings: drink and gambling, hand in hand
For me, drink and gambling were like two mates who always turned up together.
I might start with “just a couple” to relax.
Then a few drinks in, the part of me that guards the door would clock out.
Next thing I knew, the betting apps looked like fun again.
The machines looked friendly again.
Sober me could list all the reasons this was stupid.
Drunk me didn’t care.
The craving wasn’t just for alcohol.
It was for that full hit.
The rush.
The escape.
If I’d only looked at the drinking and not the gambling, I’d have missed half the pattern.
Be honest with yourself here.
What do your cravings really point to?
Is it the drink itself?
The buzz?
The chance to switch your brain off?
The thrill of risking money?
The feeling of “I’m not here for a bit”?
The more honest you are, the easier it is to design your way out.
Beating cravings starts before they hit
Most people try to beat cravings in the moment.
That’s like trying to learn how to fight while you’re already in a fight.
You can do it.
But it’s messy.
The real work is done before.
Step one is to map your cues.
For me, big ones used to be:
- Walking into the flat after work.
- 6pm in the kitchen.
- Friday paydays.
- Arguments.
- Certain lonely evenings with my phone.
I had to be brutally honest and write them out.
Time.
Place.
Feeling.
Thought.
“Friday, 5:30pm, driving home.
Tired.
Thinking, ‘I deserve a drink and a spin on something.’”
Once you’ve got your map, cravings stop being random attacks.
You know where they live.
Swapping the response, not just saying “no”
Here’s where most people go wrong.
They try to remove the drink or the bet, and leave everything else the same.
Same route home.
Same seat on the sofa.
Same phone in their hand.
Same boredom.
Then they wonder why the craving wins.
You have to change the response part of the loop.
Not just the reward.
Instead of:
Cue → Craving → Drink → Short relief
You build:
Cue → Craving → New action → New relief
For cravings to calm down, your brain needs a different way to get that feeling.
For example:
- Drive home a different way. Don’t pass your usual shop.
- As soon as you walk in, trainers back on, 10–15 minute walk.
- When the urge hits to open a bottle, open a cold AF drink instead and jump in the shower.
- When you feel like opening the betting app, put your phone in another room and do 20 push-ups, 20 squats, 20 something.
Sounds basic.
But every time you ride out a craving with a new action, your brain learns,
“Oh, this is another way to feel better.”
The craving might still come.
But it doesn’t own you.
The “15 minute rule” that saved me more than once
This is one of my favourite tools.
Stupidly simple.
Stupidly effective.
When a craving hits, I tell myself:
“I’m not saying never.
But I’m not deciding in this state.
I can do it in 15 minutes if I still want to.
First, I’m doing X.”
X might be:
- Walk
- Shower
- Tidy
- Call someone
- Write out what I’m actually feeling
The rule isn’t “you’re not allowed”.
The rule is “you’re not deciding while the craving is screaming”.
Nine times out of ten, by the time the 15 minutes is up, the craving has dropped.
From a 9/10 to a 4/10.
And a 4/10 is a lot easier to say no to.
Even on the times I still wanted it, I’d at least proved something.
That I could feel a craving and not move for a bit.
That’s you, not the habit, being in charge.
Look after the system, not just the symptom
Remember earlier when I said cravings get louder when you’re tired, stressed or low?
You can’t live like a zombie all week and expect to be a saint when the urge hits.
Basic stuff makes a big difference:
- Sleep.
Going to bed at a half decent time.
Not living on four hours and caffeine. - Food.
Real meals.
Not just sugar and crisps.
Big blood sugar swings make cravings worse. - Movement.
You don’t need to be an athlete.
Just move.
Walk.
Train.
Do something that tells your body you’re alive. - People.
If you only see people when you drink or gamble, of course cravings hit hard.
Build some connection that isn’t linked to booze or betting.
None of this is fancy.
But it calms your system down.
A calmer system = quieter cravings.
The truth: cravings don’t disappear, they change
I’d love to tell you I never get cravings now.
That would be a lie.
They still show up.
A thought.
A flash.
A memory of “that buzz”.
The difference is I’m not scared of them anymore.
I know what they are.
Old wiring.
Old shortcuts.
They’re not orders.
They’re suggestions.
My rule now is simple.
If a craving clashes with the man I’m trying to be, it doesn’t get to drive.
Dad me.
Partner me.
Money me.
Health me.
Stone Cold Project me.
Those versions get the say.
Your cravings don’t define you
If you take one thing from this, take this.
Craving doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means you’re human with a pattern.
Your brain has done its job a bit too well.
It’s learnt that certain things bring fast relief.
Your job now is to teach it better.
Map your cues.
Swap your responses.
Use the 15 minute rule.
Look after your sleep, food, movement and people.
You won’t win every battle.
But you’ll start winning more of them.
And every time you sit through a craving without giving in, you’re not just saying “no” to a drink or a bet.
You’re saying “yes” to the life you’re actually trying to build.
Control the craving.
Control the drink.
Control the decisions.
That’s how your life changes.
Not in one big moment.
But in those small, quiet wins where no one’s watching except you.
